I want to write...but grad school

Hello, dear readers!

I know.  Some of you must have given me up for dead.  Let's just say that graduate school has turned out a fair bit more challenging than I originally thought it would.  I guess I underestimated it.

Dance is not happening at the moment.  One of my old injuries flared up, and if I even so much as look at a dance shoe, my ankle laughs at me and swells up just to remind me that it is injured and it won't be doing anything, thanks so much.  It's annoying.

I'm currently camped out in my hometown's library because my mother doesn't have Internet at her house and I'm ostensibly doing homework.  I'm also taking the time to catch up on my social media and my fanfiction.

I know it's been while since I updated.  I have to admit that I'm not doing much writing at the moment.  In my current class, I have a three-four page paper due each week in addition to readings, classwork, and other assignments.  It's great having an online class, because I don't have to change my work schedule.  It's also really hard because there is a schedule to get all of this work done, and it doesn't fit very well with me.

Once the semester is over, I plan to take my laptop to the coffee shop and camp out there until I have something in terms of a chapter.  "An Aunt's Love" is so close I can almost feel it.   "What is Right" - yeah, the next few chapters are going to be fun.  :)  I've never forgotten my stories - I just haven't had much time to spend with them.

Thank you, dear readers, for your patience.  I will make you all a promise here and now:  there will be an update on both stories before the new year commences.

Until then, you're all awesome. 

Pssst.....I updated!

Yes, that's right, dear readers!  I updated "What is Right: Year Two!!!"  WOOOT!!!

The chapter is short, I'm afraid, but it is an update!  :)

It was difficult, especially since I've taken such a long break from that story, but it's there.  It's updated.  *Dances*

Enjoy!

Gearing Up for Nanowrimo

Hello dear readers!

It's almost November, and you know what that means!  NANOWRIMO!!!

Yes, it is that time of year when millions of people take an almost complete leave of their senses and attempt to write a novel of 50,000 words in just thirty days.

Yes, we know it's crazy.

Yes, we know it's masochistic.

All the same, it does get me writing, which usually leads to more writing.  That writing may lead to updates.

Also, would anyone like to beta read for me?  I have a chapter ready to go, but there's a few things I'd like to bounce off someone in the fandom.  Any takers?

Still Alive

Hello dear readers!

I am still alive and well.

Actually, I'm a little better than well. It's hard to explain.  My doctor is trying a new medication that is supposed to help the depression and anxiety at the same time (What a magical substance!!  Must be from the wizarding world...), and I have a feeling that it may just work.  My last round of meds had a few side effects that were less than desirable.

Life is extremely busy.  This was probably the wrong time to sign up for so many teaching hours at the dance studio or start taking a college class, but I am confident that I will be able to meet all of my obligations.  I even wrote this weekend!  And it was in "What is Right: Year Two!!"

I know what you're all thinking:  "IT'S ABOUT TIME!!!"

And you're right.

Still, I am happy with the progress it's making and hopefully will find some free time to update soon.  Perhaps this weekend.  (Do NOT hold me to that.  Anything could happen between now and Saturday.)

I do have a paper due this week, so I must focus on that first.  School is important.  :)

All the same, keep your comments and reviews coming.  They inspire me quite a bit and make me consider things this brain has forgotten.  In the meantime, I'll continue writing.

Emma is back in school!

Hello, dear readers!

Yes, the title is true.  I am back in school!  When I "graduated" in 2008, I did walk in the graduation ceremonies.  I remember my feet hurt and no one knew the words to the school song, but we all knew the words to "Country Roads."  There was even a girl sitting behind me questioning why we weren't singing "Country Roads" and that she didn't know the words to the other one (I had never heard it before graduation, either.).

It was only after graduation that I found out that I did not complete all requirements.  Nice little graduation present there.  There I am, surrounding by family, my feet blistering in my shoes, and a nice little note in the envelope that was supposed to hold my diploma:  "You have not completed the required coursework..."

I was livid.

I took this class in high school, but the credits were lost in translation somewhere along the way between transfers.  I did not know this, and neither of my advisors (yes, I had TWO) caught this.  Neither did I.  I thought everything was finished and I was going to leave with my diploma and student debt in tow behind me while I went off in the adult world.

Some of that happened.  I did leave school behind, and I took my student debt with me, but no diploma.  One class short.  Luckily, this semester, I was able to enroll in that class so that I can finish my degree.  Woot woot.

My first paper is three pages long.  Three pages.  The last paper I wrote was thirty pages long.  I have a feeling that this class is going to go well.  And it's online!  I didn't have to change my work schedule at all to take this class!  It's pretty awesome.  :)

Now I just need to figure out my first paper topic....

Lacking Inspiration and Other Tales of Desperation

I cannot name the dread disease that has befallen me in the last week, my dear readers.  To name it is to claim it, and if I claim it, then it will hang around for a while and make itself at home.

I try everything I can to dissuade this unwelcome visitor, every tip or trick other writers have taught me to be rid of it.  I wish that there was a spray of some kind to rid myself of this little pestilence. 

I can't even finish a blog post because I lack the inspiration.  Can't get much more pathetic here....

Just can't....

Hi there!

Hello dear readers!

I am sorry to say that I do not have an update for you just yet.  I am working on one, I promise.  It's just not happening the way I want it to go.

The characters all want to do their own thing, and I want them to do what I want them to do. 

You see, I am the one with blue hair, and they are winning this fight.

*sigh*

Any other writers experience this phenomenon?

Less Stressed and NOPE!

Things are finally starting to settle down. 

One of my evening classes is over and suddenly I have a free evening in my schedule.  I'm not entirely sure what I'll be doing.

Sleeping, maybe?

I don't know.

Sleep sounds awesome.

The other side (practical side) says that I'll have more time to dedicate to other things I should be doing. This all goes back to my post about Motivation, Frustration, and Exhaustion, as I'm pretty sure some of that is impacting my decision to avoid certain adult responsibilities.  These are the boring adult responsibilities that I've been having a bit of struggle with in recent weeks.  Organizing my closet.  Filing old bills.  Paying bills.  Weeding out books I'll never read again and giving them away/selling them.  Setting up that expense spreadsheet I've been meaning to set up. Re-organizing my room. Re-doing my budget.  I find them all boring. I don't want to.

When my brain states: "HEY!  LET'S DO THIS!" the other side of my brain goes:

Nope, nope, nope.  Don't want to.  Can't make me.

It's a struggle, I tell you.

If you have struggles like this, please share in the comments below.  I'd like to know I'm not alone in the whole motivation/adulthood nope-ness of avoidance.

Motivation, Frustration, and Exhaustion

Have you ever really, really wanted to do something, but find yourself unable to get started due to things beyond your control?

I'm having that issue.  There are so many things that I want to accomplish, projects to complete, and social obligations to attend that I find myself in a little bit of a dizzying whirl of "I don't have time!!!" and I end up doing nothing except completely giving up.

Yes, complete with slamming my head on my desk....just like that.

I wish I could blame this on something that was outside of my control, but I can't.  I'm just a crazy person that likes to do too many things at once.

I love the creative drive in my life, even though it takes over too much of my time.  When things become overwhelming, I decide to GET. ORGANIZED.

This is always a bad things, my friends.  As with everything else in my life, I take it a little bit to the extreme.

I get a new planner (which is like getting a new purse for other girls, really....it makes me extremely excited and giddy).

I rush home and frantically input information into it, gearing up for the just-out-of-reach dream that is adult responsibility.

There are baskets filled with objects and categorized in my closet.

My whiteboard is reorganized and redrawn with all of the new things I plan to accomplish.

I outline my writing, do some character mapping, draw a few timelines, and post everything where I can see it.

My desk is cleaned and organized, often with little labels of where everything is supposed to go.

I bullet journal everything I need to do in the next month and decide to start into my adventures.

Everything works well for a little while.  I am able to maintain the madness I have created for myself with little effort.  Chapters are planned.  Blog posts are outlined.  Bill payments are organized.  Workouts scheduled.  Home improvement projects pondered.  I am able to master it all for about three or four weeks.

Then, something happens. It doesn't matter what it is, really.  I may need to stop off at the grocery store and arrive home later than I mean to.  I may have an unexpected appointment with the doctor.  I get sick.  I double book myself.

It's all over.  My meticulous organization falls apart.  I forget to do something.  I procrastinate (one of my worst attributes, really).  I decide that watching the Big Bang Theory is more interesting than the projects I want to do.

What happens after that is usually a period of frantic catch up that leaves me looking a little like this:

Does anyone else experience such a phenomenon?

Or am I alone??

I am actually writing!

It's almost bizarre, but I've written three whole pages since I updated.  Three whole pages.  It's wonderful, but it also feels a little like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop.  My mind keeps protesting that this is not normal for me.

It used to be months between writing bouts. Literally months.  As in six to seven months.

It's a little frightening.  It makes me wonder if this is a return to the levels of updating awesome I used to have instead of the past year and a half of "I've got nothing" when I've tried to work on my fanfiction.

Either way, I'm glad it's happening.  It means the characters are pleased and wanting to interact with me...or something.  I'm hoping to sit down tonight and do some more work on it, so keep your fingers crossed.

The Weekend That Wasn't

My weekend passed by in a blur of illness, frantic rushing about, and too much time at the dance studio.

Friday I was home sick due to a random attack of particularly bizarre flu-like symptoms.  These symptoms were enough to cause me to consider staying home within minutes of waking up.  My usual "stay home" decisions are made after getting up, maybe getting into the shower, getting dressed, and attempting breakfast.  It is about this time that my good sense overrides my feelings of responsibility in making it to work.  One part of my brain is saying "Must go to work - things to do!" and the other part of my brain is screaming "Go back to bed!  You're SICK.  Do not spread illness!!"

This time, however, I sat up, looked around my room in the pre-dawn light, brain went "Nope!  We're sick!  Really sick!" and I texted my supervisor before allowing myself to cuddle back into my blankets until my sister woke me at seven AM, asking why I wasn't ready to go.

I still had to drive her to work, since she doesn't drive.  In my sick state.  It was an adventure, especially since I fell on some ice and sliced my hand open.  Imagine me driving in my car, blood oozing down my hand while trying to make a left-hand turn.  An adventure, I tell you.

After dropping off my sister, I returned home, where I promptly returned to my pajamas and bed.  I then descended into bizarre dreams that I'm still trying to understand.  I managed to find some electrolyte drink stashed in the pantry from the last time illness ran through my apartment, drank some of it, and when back to sleep.  I woke briefly at 5:00, when I had to go and retrieve my sister from work.  After returning home, I went back to sleep.

Saturday, I woke up very early and thought I felt better.  I had an event at my dance studio for volunteer work, so I decided it would be a great idea to go.  I spent five hours there, from 9:00 AM to 2:00 PM.  The kids were adorable, but it was way too much for my introverted ways and I returned home, unwilling to socialize with anyone.  I locked myself in my room with my laptop and headphones and worked on the outline for the next chapter of AAL, emerging only for pizza and an episode of the Big Bang Theory.  (I swear, that show is my life.)

Sunday, church was out of the question as my roommate's friend was in town visiting.  I managed to sleep in a little bit, eat some leftover pizza for breakfast, and then returned to my computer for a round of "let's see if we can work on something productive!"  I did manage something productive, but I spent a lot of time checking outside to see what the snow cover was like.  It was bad.  One of my friends ended up taking me to rehearsal, where I spent all of forty-five minutes.  Most of that was watching others and walking on when I needed to.  All in all, very short rehearsal, when my friend returned to save me from the snow.  (She's my hero.)

Suddenly, it's nine o'clock at night on a Sunday, and my brain suddenly caught up with me going "where did our weekend go?"  I woke up this morning, frantic with the idea that I had lost a day somehow.  It's like a time warp.  (Oddly enough, I was listening Rocky Horror Picture Show while I was writing this weekend.)  Just a jump to the left!