Hello dear readers!
My week has been super-busy since last week. I finally made it to the doctor's office last week and I am cleared for dance (injuries...*sigh*). I was super excited. I am also the owner of some medication that is supposed to help my panic attacks and anxiety. I've already experienced the one (and that medicine needs a MUCH bigger warning label about making me relaxed....I was a zombie on Friday!) and the other needs a few weeks to kick into gear.
On Saturday morning, I bundled myself and my backpack into the car and drove to Parkersburg, WV ALL BY MYSELF! This is a huge deal for me. I have driving anxiety and spent quite a few months in therapy to deal with it. I had been run off the road by some tractor trailers a few years ago, and the highway lost its allure for me really quick. It got to the point where I avoided driving altogether. This weekend, I broke the cycle. I drove for two hours by myself on the highway to go see my good friend in Parkersburg. I spent the night with her, got to play with my goddaughter, and generally enjoy myself. We made food, participated in the March for Babies (through the March of Dimes) on Sunday, and giggled until late into the night. Her poor husband...surrounded by reminiscing females. It must have been difficult for him. Either way, he's a good guy and makes some mean popcorn.
I made it home Sunday evening with only a minor freakout on the way home - not a panic attack, but it was an OMG! moment with a tractor trailer, an on-ramp, and vague road signage. I made it through and back home, where I promptly collapsed into my bed and introverted because I had spent the entire weekend surrounded by people.
I had my ballet class last night (and I feel it today!) and now here I sit at my laptop, telling you all about my weekend. :)
SURVIVE! The next chapter is coming. ;)
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Showing posts with label family. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 10, 2014
Wednesday, April 30, 2014
Nanowrimo Failure
I just can't seem to get this Nanowrimo thing under control. This month has been a disaster all the way through in terms of having time to write. I've been ill, had a root canal, sick again, and had family in to visit, and numerous demands on my time.
I miss writing.
I miss writing.
Sunday, March 08, 2009
Life can be sucky
December was the worst month of my life. It will probably be the worst month of my life for the rest of my life.
First, my car broke down. That in itself wasn't too bad, considering what would follow.
My grandmother died. She was 99 years old, just fifty days short of her 100th birthday. The worst part was, I had to rent a car to go home for the funeral. The weather was terrible, and all sorts of family were coming in from all over for it. Even my Uncle Jack, whom I met for the first (and probably last) time at the funeral home. My uncle has not been to West Virginia for well over thirty years. He never came to see my grandmother, even though he was her firstborn son, and then he shows up at her funeral. Added to everything else, the person in the casket was not my grandmother. It was her body, but it wasn't her. Whatever made her my grandmother was already gone. The funeral didn't really make much of an impression on me. I don't cry at funerals. I'm sure I've upset some family members over my lack of reaction, but it wasn't her.
My twin sister and I were invited to say something. I warned the little ones in the family that they hadn't heard all of the stories about her yet, but they would. Grandma was the matriarch of our family, and I can already see all of us drifting away from each other. She was strong enough to hold us together; we cannot remain as we were without an outside force, and she was certainly an outside force!
This all happened right before the Christmas holidays. It only drives home my personal belief that the Christmas holidays were invented to torture me with frivolity. My entire family, both mother and father sides, were determined to make Christmas a time of too much food and too little quiet. It was rough, as my parents are divorced and both sides want me at a celebration of some sort. Frustrating, that, as I wanted nothing more than to be alone in my little apartment with Christmas carols playing softly in the background, a glass of wine at my elbow, and my own private little celebration taking place before I headed off to Midnight Mass. Instead, I got to watch Rudolph the Red-Nosed reindeer with the little ones before ushering them off to bed before Santa Claus could come, the whole while attempting not to break their belief. (I figured it out at eight...)
New Years Eve was a blessing.
First, my car broke down. That in itself wasn't too bad, considering what would follow.
My grandmother died. She was 99 years old, just fifty days short of her 100th birthday. The worst part was, I had to rent a car to go home for the funeral. The weather was terrible, and all sorts of family were coming in from all over for it. Even my Uncle Jack, whom I met for the first (and probably last) time at the funeral home. My uncle has not been to West Virginia for well over thirty years. He never came to see my grandmother, even though he was her firstborn son, and then he shows up at her funeral. Added to everything else, the person in the casket was not my grandmother. It was her body, but it wasn't her. Whatever made her my grandmother was already gone. The funeral didn't really make much of an impression on me. I don't cry at funerals. I'm sure I've upset some family members over my lack of reaction, but it wasn't her.
My twin sister and I were invited to say something. I warned the little ones in the family that they hadn't heard all of the stories about her yet, but they would. Grandma was the matriarch of our family, and I can already see all of us drifting away from each other. She was strong enough to hold us together; we cannot remain as we were without an outside force, and she was certainly an outside force!
This all happened right before the Christmas holidays. It only drives home my personal belief that the Christmas holidays were invented to torture me with frivolity. My entire family, both mother and father sides, were determined to make Christmas a time of too much food and too little quiet. It was rough, as my parents are divorced and both sides want me at a celebration of some sort. Frustrating, that, as I wanted nothing more than to be alone in my little apartment with Christmas carols playing softly in the background, a glass of wine at my elbow, and my own private little celebration taking place before I headed off to Midnight Mass. Instead, I got to watch Rudolph the Red-Nosed reindeer with the little ones before ushering them off to bed before Santa Claus could come, the whole while attempting not to break their belief. (I figured it out at eight...)
New Years Eve was a blessing.
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